My body is tired now. It is nervous and it is vaguely sore. It feels hollow and dry. Used up.
My body spent the day full of tidal waves, by turns hyper-focused and disassociated, alive with an electric rage.
Anger bubbled up in my stomach like molten acid, burning my insides and making my throat contract, my jaw clench, my eyes pop from my skull in a lunatic stare of permanent shock. My feet were frantic as they paced the floor, wearing trenches in my carpet from the heaviness and swiftness of my footfalls. My mouth snatched ragged breaths in panicked gulps, and I surprised myself when I let out a scream:
"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS GOING ON??"
At 3:00 PM EST, a coup was staged on the United States Government.
By whom?
The supporters of the President of the United States.
Let's just sit with that for a moment. Just let that sink in.
The President of the United States urged his supporters to obstruct and undermine the US Government.
And then they did. White nationalists, Proud Boys, MAGA dudes, Q-Anon followers and all assortment of Pro-Trump fanatics stormed the Capitol building as Congress was in the process of certifying the Electoral College votes that would ensure a peaceful transition of power to the Biden/Harris administration on January 20, 2021. This process has historically been a formality, and no Congress has ever overturned the results of an election. But history, procedure and any semblance of formality went flying out the window as the Capitol was overtaken and members of Congress were evacuated.
Neither main-stream nor social media could keep up with the events unfolding. Twitter, Facebook and Google News have been a whirlwind of professional and amateur video footage: hordes of rioters waving Confederate, Trump 2020 and Thin Blue Line flags; a small line of police being shoved aside and ignored as crowds stream up the Capitol steps; men in military-style gear scaling building facades and vandalizing the floor of the House of Representatives; members of Congress sheltering in place or running for cover as all hell breaks loose. And as most of our nation's eyes are fixed on the events unfolding in DC, only some noticed that similar protests were breaking out within the rest of the country. After an historic run-off election in Georgia resulted in Democrats taking both US Senate seats, and thereby regaining control of the Senate, the Georgia Secretary of State's office was evacuated. Likewise, protests turned violent in California's capitol city of Sacramento, with Trump-supporters hurling racial slurs and anti-immigrant rhetoric at whomever happened to be within earshot. Similar events occurred in the capitol cities of Texas, Michigan, Kansas and Oklahoma.
What has been the response of law enforcement? Tepid, insipid, milquetoast. But don't take my word for it, just look at the profusion of pictures and videos that speak for themselves:
https://www.bbc.com/news/av-embeds/55564421/vpid/p0938khp
A line of maybe ten police officers standing on the Capitol steps, holding up their hands and backing away as rioters and domestic terrorists advance up the steps--after mere moments of resistance, the officers separate and allow the protestors through.
https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/1346920198461419520?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
A group of coup participants hanging out and taking pictures with law enforcement officers, chanting "ACAF, ACAF"... "All Cops Are Friends".
Police literally OPENING THE GATES to allow the protesters to regain ground in the Capitol.
And how has President Trump responded to these events? First by rallying and goading his supporters. Then by reiterating that he would "never concede" the election. And now, by releasing a one-minute video addressing his supporters on Twitter, reiterating that "the election was stolen from us, but it's time to go home. You're all very special, thank you." No rebuke of vandalism, destruction of property or violation of federal law. No admission of culpability or wrongdoing. Not even a single admonishment of anyone's actions.
And how do these responses compare to, say, law enforcement and President Trump's responses to Black Lives Matter protests at the Capitol earlier this year?
Just take a look for yourself:
https://mashable.com/article/capitol-police-trump-riot-black-lives-matter-protest/
It took over 4 hours for law enforcement to clear out the majority of the rioters and terrorists. The National Guard wasn't deployed until hours after the Capitol had been breached. Multiple explosives were found. One woman was shot and died of her injuries. And as a result of all this, Congress has yet to certify the election results.
In a perverse way, I understand these people.
These people are angry. I am angry. But underneath that anger, there is fear--I am afraid. I am afraid of what this means, I am afraid of what will happen. I am afraid that the foundation of this country--already full of myriad cracks, flaws and imperfections--has finally reached its breaking point, and we're about to see the whole structure collapse. To see people actively working to undermine a democratic election under the guise of "patriotism and democracy" is mind-boggling. It is an act of seditious fascism that so utterly betrays any understanding of democracy or law and order that I can't help but feel more sorrow than rage. It is a collective experience that I can only describe as a socio-political gaslighting of meta proportions.
What I fear is the proliferation of ignorance, the glorification of "might equals right", and a wide-spread reversion to a type of tribalism that treats only some citizens as "full, real people". I fear the people who profess their bigotry, their hatred and their ignorance as points of pride. I fear both the destruction of this country and the myopic and dangerous tradition of papering over, covering up, looking away and refusing to confront our own evil.
Like me, these people are angry. And their anger, like my own, is underpinned with fear--but their fear is different than my fear.
They fear they're being cheated, lied to, deceived. Stripped of their power and their rights. "Tread upon". And well they should, because they ARE being cheated, lied to, deceived, stripped of power and tread upon--by the very people they seek to keep in power. Trump and his ilk are some of the most self-interested, deceptive and destructive people this country has ever produced. Their success hinges upon an angry, uninformed and economically-depressed voter base to whom they can peddle their lies and distractions. The president who built his platform on "Making America Great Again" has accomplished exactly the opposite, and has maintained his supporters' unwavering loyalty by continuing to exploit their fears and their prejudices. A good many of these people are supremely afraid of difference, afraid of change. Afraid that their positions of power, their historical entitlement to better treatment and socio-economic advantage, is slipping away as a new order is conceived by larger and louder swathes of the American populace. They are afraid of "minorities" that were once this country's "other" becoming equally American, equally protected and treated and respected as the "default" white person. They are afraid of the people they see as the "other", and they are also afraid of becoming the "other".
Inevitably, the flash and bang will eventually subside, and things will seemingly "return to normal". People will talk about today, and whatever follows in its wake, with the clarity of hindsight. Some will call it a disgrace and a shame, others will express shock and outrage, and other still will shout support and approval. Do not be fooled: The crowds can be dispersed. Congress can reconvene. In 2 weeks, Biden can be sworn in as 46th President of the United States. And this country will still be in utter chaos.
Because these people will still be here, and their ideals and values will remain the same. They will continue to fester like a rotted tooth, their poison proliferating into the national bloodstream, only flaring into pain some of the time but inflicting constant damage whether we see and feel them or not. The tooth must be pulled and the infection treated, because what seems like a small and dismissible problem, a problem that bothers us but it's probably fine, right?, a problem that we like to think isn't really a problem... It could kill us. And if it does, we'll have no one to blame but ourselves.
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